Never Goodbye

Since I was just a little girl I have always had troubles with goodbyes. If you didn’t already know because you haven’t read my earlier posts my parents were divorced so my brother and I were forced to go back and fourth from one state to another state every year.

I loved with my dad during the school year and saw my mom every summer, every other christmas and every other spring break.

Going to my moms house I would get so excited. It was never hard to tell my dad goodbye because I saw his face everyday all year pretty much. I was such a mamas girl and loved to visit my mom.

Those were the best summers EVER!

We would have so much fun shopping, or watching movies, swimming, going to wet n wild or circus circus(my mom lived in north Las Vegas then). There would always be something fun to do at moms.

Towards the end of our visit I would start getting sad a week before I had to go back to my dads and I would sit in my moms lap everyday and just cry and tell her I didn’t want to go. It wasn’t only hard for my brother and I to live our mom but it was really hard for my mother to send us back every year especially since we were so young. She missed out on a lot of our childhood. Softball games, soccer games, award ceremonies, field trips, etc. I really wish my mom could have been there for all that.

The day it was time to go back to dad’s I would be ok until we got to the airport gate and had to say goodbye to mom I would cry to the point where I couldn’t breath and the whole plane ride back I would cry. I would be so depressed and cry for about a month after leaving her. I always had something special from my mom that she would spray with her perfume so it smelt like her which helped. At night time I would look at the moon and sing our song…

I see the moon. The moon sees me. The moon sees the one that I want to see. God bless the moon and God bless me. God bless the one that I want to see.

To this day I still sing it even though I know live with my mother. Its a part of me and I will never forget it.

The whole reason why I told you that story was because I thought after I turned 18 that the whole saying goodbye would be easier because i could come and go on my own terms but when I decided to move with my mom I cried like a big baby in the airport because saying goodbye to my dad the way I did was really hard.

I cried about that for about a week and finally as I thought that was the last hard goodbye I would ever have to say it striked me again yesterday morning when I took my boyfriend to the airport so he could go back to North Carolina. I cried and it really hurt my heart that he was leaving.

Point of story I hate goodbyes. I feel as if I say goodbye I will never see you again. So from now on I will use the term see you later or see you soon because I know I will and it guarentees I will.

That is all!

7 comments on “Never Goodbye

  1. ah heart… you remember the moon song…and I hear you singing lullabyes to Caden that I sang to you… you always took my heart with you when you left and looking back… there maybe have been a different way to have done things…. but at the time keeping you and Josh together seemed more important…at least I thought through all of it you would always have each other…. I am already an emotional puddle and I just cried my way through this…. I love you…to the moon and back…a hundred gazillion million times… x infinity plus 1…. it has been wonderful beyond belief having you here with me…. thank you….and you are a good mama…a wonderful mama…Little Monkey Man chose good.

  2. I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been for you and your mom especially the leaving! Isn’t it wonderful that you have such happy wonderful memories of spending time together! I think maybe being apart made you even closer because your time was limited and you made every minute count! I can sure understand why you don’t like goodbyes! I love reading your blog Lauren! i’ll bet you get your writing talent from your mom!!! Have fun with my great grand baby! Many hugs from your cyber grandma! 😀

    • it surely has made my mom ana i very close. she isnt only my mother she is my best friend. I have so much respect for my mom and love idk what I would doo with out her. I use to write storied and even got to go to a writing convention in fourth grade one out of two people from my school. Thank you very much I will def have fun with little caden he learns somehing new everyday.

      • Isn’t that wonderful that you and your mom are so close and are best friends too? That’s just wonderful and you guys are so lucky to have each other!!

        And I ‘m not surprised at all that you went to a writing convention in 4th grade. I can tell you are a naturally good writer and express yourself very well and in an interesting way that is so rare in the world today! Have a great day enjoying Caden!!! YAY 🙂

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