Never Goodbye

Since I was just a little girl I have always had troubles with goodbyes. If you didn’t already know because you haven’t read my earlier posts my parents were divorced so my brother and I were forced to go back and fourth from one state to another state every year.

I loved with my dad during the school year and saw my mom every summer, every other christmas and every other spring break.

Going to my moms house I would get so excited. It was never hard to tell my dad goodbye because Continue reading

Excuse me. Im sorry. Im really such a lady!

But when it comes down to it I will put your ass on blast when you disrespect or hurt me or my family.

I have watched my mom love you and give you everything your heart desired and this is how you treat her?

You have always been the one to talk about family. My mom was part of that family and what you have done to her no one on this earth deserves.”

That is how this post would have gone if I had continued writing it the other day after seeing that comment on my mom’s blog. I would have put all his shit on blast for everyone to see. But lucky him I let my mom write to see where this was going and I see that she is hurting.

There have been times when he has said some nasty things and my kind, respectful self just sat here like a bomb ticking waiting for that moment to explode. I finally did one day I told him and his wife (the cow as I call her to make my mom laugh) off. It was so bad that his wife said I was lucky that she didn’t file a police report saying I harrassed her (which I certainly did not, although I really wanted to I knew she would pull something like that so I held my tongue). She ended up blocking me off her facebook and on her phone. But what she doesn’t realize is that although I am sweet and kind I do have a whole other side that hardly any one has seen. My mother hasn’t even seen me in full force until this year I think. I can be a straight up bitch and make your life a living hell if I really wanted to. I am really good at that.

If only I was were they lived.

Anyways, I am tired of seeing my mother hurting and I tell him that every time I have to tell him off but I now realize that he isn’t here anymore. His body is but his soul isn’t.

I don’t know what to really say anymore. I have so much anger toward this man that I don’t even know what to say.

So this is where I shall end this post.

The BIG surprise!

April 2011. The month and year I will never forget. My boyfriend and I had some rough times that month. We were an on again off again couple. My parents, of course, saw this as unhealthy for my growth and my future and advised me to just let go. How could I let go of someone who was the first person I ever brought home to meet my parents? The one I have been with for a year and 2 months (at the time)? The one I loved? I couldn’t. So I stayed.

First week of May I started to feel bloated and sick all the time and the smell of food disgusted me. Chris told me I looked like I was gaining baby weight. I blew that comment off cause I knew I couldn’t be. Continue reading

Teenage angst

When my parents first met Chris (my boyfriends name :)) they loved him. They said he was well-mannered and quiet and although he went into his past (a little too much)  they absolutely adored him.

The first few months of us dating were the greatest. Chris would come to my house and help my dad with house work (the kind that males do lol :)), although he didn’t want to, just so that he could come see me and spend a little bit if time with me because I wasn’t allowed to just go out and see him alone yet. For him that was different. He never did that for a girl. If he couldn’t see a girl out side of school or without her parents he wouldn’t even bother. Yet for me he did all that.

He came over for dinner a lot and even for our dinner parties and bbqs. It was like my parents were obsessed with him. Always asking how he was, and when he was coming over, and asked me to have him over almost every weekend. It felt as if I wasn’t in Continue reading