First week of May I started to feel bloated and sick all the time and the smell of food disgusted me. Chris told me I looked like I was gaining baby weight. I blew that comment off cause I knew I couldn’t be. A week later I’m still felt bad so Chris took me to get a pregnancy test. We sat in his moms apartment waiting for the results of the first test. One line= negative, two lines= positive.Tick toc, tick toc. Time seemed to have just stopped. Then all of a sudden after the longest 5 min of my life the first line showed and I was relieved. Then very, very lightly the little tip of the second line decided to appear. Our eyes got big. I took the second one in a hurry. Again tick toc, tick toc, we waited. We sat there on the floor not a sound, hearts beating like a steel drum, and sure enough it came out positive. I looked at Chris with a scared look and he looked at me and we sat there in silence. I went home that night. I didn’t cry. I didn’t speak. I couldn’t think. So I went to bed.
A month later I went to the doctors (May 31st to be exact). I prayed that the test I had taken was wrong. I sat in that doctor’s office alone and scared. They then confirmed what I already knew.I was 8 weeks pregnant. That is when I broke down and cried my eyes out. In the middle of the doctor’s office and in front of my doctor. I couldn’t believe it.
I didn’t know what to do. Should I keep the baby? Should I give the baby up for adoption? Should I get an abortion? I knew right after I asked that last question to myself that I would never abort a child that I carry. It’s not the babies fault that two teenagers were careless. My child was a blessing and not a mistake. I would give him or her life and either choose to keep him or her or give him or her to a loving family.
I didn’t know how to tell my family. Everyone was going to be at my house for the next week or two because I was graduating from high school. I told my mommy first in a text message. I was asking her when her flight got in and what day. She answered but I couldn’t read the text because everything was misspelled. She was driving. I got mad so I texted her back with the “BTW I’m 8 weeks pregnant”. She didn’t answer me for an hour or two and I was scared but she finally called me and assured me that whatever I choose to do she was behind me 100%.
It was hard keeping my emotions about everything bottled up and away from all my family (although now everyone says it made perfect sense and that they knew I was pregnant because the way I acted the whole time). I decided to keep this from my dad and step mom for a while until I decided what to do because they are military people. I have to come at them with a plan.
June 9th rolled around. I walked across the stage and received my diploma 9 weeks and 2 days pregnant. My parents were so proud of me.
After a month of trying to come up with a plan I got scared to tell my dad and step mom so in July I decided to move to my moms in Arizona(which was fine because I wanted to go to school there). Saying goodbye to my dad without giving him the real reason of why I was leaving was the hardest thing to do but I couldn’t tell him. I wasn’t ready to lose my dad. So I left. Chris came with me.
Here I found out I was having a boy and Chris and I decided to keep our child. We named him Caden.
I enrolled in school at a community college here in Arizona to get some of my pre reqs for nursing done before Caden came.
I didn’t tell my dad I was pregnant until late September. He was outraged. He wanted to fight my boyfriend Chris for getting me pregnant. He told me all my doors for education have closed in my face. He said I was going to end up barefoot, pregnant and living in the ghetto. He asked why I didn’t get an abortion. Then he told me don’t expect to come home and think that he is going to raise my child. We didn’t talk for about two and a half months after that when I explained to him that I wasn’t ready to lose him as a dad and that’s why I didn’t tell him sooner.
Weeks passed. Holidays passed and on January 12th 2012 at noon I was on my way to the hospital.